Former brides and brides-to-be out there, let us ask you a question: what would you do if, during your wedding ceremony, right as the officiant “asks you to state your intentions,” your groom responded with “Hold on on second” and steps down out of the apse?
You’d be pretty startled and not a little worried, right? Now imagine you’re also a mother, and the man you’re about to marry isn’t going to be solely your husband, but stepfather to your little girl. If that were the case, we think it’s safe to say your face would probably look a little like this:
For this bride, this scenario we’re describing was her actual wedding day, and her reaction to the moment her groom steps down those stairs tells us everything. This guy definitely didn’t clear this idea with her ahead of time— or anybody, it seems!
Even the priest performing their ceremony seems concerned, reacting with an “Oh, no!” The next moment, however, the officiant continues, “Oh, OK, do what you want,” because the groom’s intentions have become clearer: he’s getting flower girl and daughter-of-the-bride Marissa involved.
To anybody who’s never witnessed a blended family ceremony, this groom’s actions might seem a little strange. But in a changing world where, increasingly, kids witness their parents’ marriages, his gesture and inclusion means so much. Parents Magazine explains, “because you have to work hard in a stepfamily to build relationships, it often ends up that everyone learns a lot about trust, safety, and love.” Including that process in the wedding ceremony itself just makes sense, and makes for magical moments, too.
The truth is that for all remarried (or recommitted) with children their new life isn’t only about their love for each other, but now must include love and/or acceptance for the other people their partner loves (children) and has loved (ex-partner, extended family, friends). The intimate relationship they started out with cannot be sustained in a vacuum and will not survive if they don’t acknowledge the unfinished business each has brought into the new relationship.
And as wedding planner Sandy Malone tells The Huffington Post that “I have noticed that the more involved the kids are in the wedding festivities, the happier they appear to be on the actual wedding day.”
This observation makes complete sense to us! After all, when two parents come together to get married, it’s two families that are being joined, not just two individual persons. Of course the kids will be happier being involved in the big day; it’s an important one in their lives, too!
But what if the children involved are particularly young, or if the families decide to have a more traditional ceremony with a pretty strict, set order of things? Well, if you’re anything like this groom, you flip the script just a little and plan a sweet surprise!
Watch the video from Rumble user nickovic1 below to see how this groom surprised both his bride and his stepdaughter-to-be during the ceremony, and to see the beautiful symbol he offers to the little flower girl.
How sweet was that? What do you think of this groom’s surprise? Have you ever been a part of or witness to a wedding ceremony like this one? If you’re part of a blended family, how did you involve your children in your wedding? Did any of you surprise your husband or wife on your wedding day? Share with us and with each other!